The church was small; about fifty to seventy-five members attended on any given Sunday. The atmosphere was warm and intimate. It was like an incubator of sorts. And, looking back, I’m thankful for the tininess of it. I was so broken and acted so strange that I don’t think I would’ve have survived long in a large, mainline denominational church. And when I say “survived,” I mean that literally.
Beautiful post and you really convey the healing power of receiving unconditional love. Those who judge people who seek refuge in churches or even cults, or simply do not understand...likely they have not experienced the bewildering loneliness of the landscape of no faith, no soft place to land. That loneliness and emptiness for me (raised atheist) and grief led me to a Hinduish meditation group that sustained me for 20+ years. Although I have since left it, I am forever grateful. You also paint the picture of the contradictions and dissonance that can come from being 'inside' a church/organized religion with a very particular way and point of view. thank you!
Thanks Ellen. It's strange to look back and see how many years I endured the dissonance before I allowed myself to grow more balanced and in tune with myself, but I think that's part of all of our journey.
Your description of people calling you just when you were at a really low ebb speaks volumes in my opinion. I think God works in apparently ordinary ways, because if someone performed a miracle for us it would freak us out.
A heart-wrenching/heart-warming story, so very relatable in these times where religion and politics are a little too much in bed together. And I had to chuckle at the God as in Ga-wwwd. Who knew it was a two syllable word? You're a lovely, lovely writer and you sound like a gem of a human being! Write on!
Whoa, hard to believe we really were on that crooked path for a season of TV Evangelicals and men who seemed to know how to get paid by their followers so they could live in abundance and gold houses...its embarrassing now, but also part of the story to eventually find the truth and freedom!!
Beautiful post and you really convey the healing power of receiving unconditional love. Those who judge people who seek refuge in churches or even cults, or simply do not understand...likely they have not experienced the bewildering loneliness of the landscape of no faith, no soft place to land. That loneliness and emptiness for me (raised atheist) and grief led me to a Hinduish meditation group that sustained me for 20+ years. Although I have since left it, I am forever grateful. You also paint the picture of the contradictions and dissonance that can come from being 'inside' a church/organized religion with a very particular way and point of view. thank you!
Thanks Ellen. It's strange to look back and see how many years I endured the dissonance before I allowed myself to grow more balanced and in tune with myself, but I think that's part of all of our journey.
Your description of people calling you just when you were at a really low ebb speaks volumes in my opinion. I think God works in apparently ordinary ways, because if someone performed a miracle for us it would freak us out.
Yes! And we are "his" hands and feet," right? He uses ordinary people in our lives. We just need to be on the lookout!
Agreed 😊
A heart-wrenching/heart-warming story, so very relatable in these times where religion and politics are a little too much in bed together. And I had to chuckle at the God as in Ga-wwwd. Who knew it was a two syllable word? You're a lovely, lovely writer and you sound like a gem of a human being! Write on!
Thanks, Stephanie...yeah...I can clearly hear that "Ga-wwwd" in my head when thinking about some of the sermons I listened too. LOL
Whoa, hard to believe we really were on that crooked path for a season of TV Evangelicals and men who seemed to know how to get paid by their followers so they could live in abundance and gold houses...its embarrassing now, but also part of the story to eventually find the truth and freedom!!
Yes...that's such a good way to look at it. Like a piece of dark coal going through the pressure until the possibility of the diamond emerges.